grifter
A Devoted Distraction
Posts: 135
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Post by grifter on May 31, 2006 12:54:26 GMT -6
I chose to disagree with gravity. And that cool concrete slab went quickly quiet against my skull, with a smilingly thick thud, laced sticky with life’s bright warmth. It trickled like light under an unopened door down my Dad’s worn work shirt, as he lifted me
limply (like after I was a ghost, feet tripped in a sheet before my eyebrow caught the corner of the coffee table.)
Later, startled with stitches, I sought solace on my father’s shoulder, sleeping as he sipped cigarettes.
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Post by thecrazybeautiful on Jun 6, 2006 15:37:01 GMT -6
"I chose to disagree with gravity" That is such a great opening line. I love it! "limply (like after I was a ghost, feet tripped" This reminds me of something I said the other day. I said something along the lines of "Yeah, I died a couple of times before I came here." to a friend when I was at her house. She said I was a ghost... I know this is a ramble, but I thought I'd just say what it reminded me of This whole thing seems a little dark in a way, but it tells an interesting story, the way I see it.
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Post by Laura on Jun 9, 2006 11:59:14 GMT -6
"It trickled like light under an unopened door down my Dad’s worn work shirt, as he lifted me
limply (like after I was a ghost, feet tripped in a sheet before my eyebrow caught the corner of the coffee table.) "
--this feels a little straight forward but at the same time like there is this huge story behind it all that is complex. I really enjoyed this one though, as I do most your poetry.
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