|
Post by Absinthe on Jul 20, 2005 9:24:57 GMT -6
This poem is one I wrote quite some time ago. It is not a true story. I wrote it, because a friend challenged me to. She challenged me to write a poem from the perspective of a child that dealt with the loss of both parents. This is my attempt at doing that.
Fallen Angel
Daddy was my world He was the only one who understood Daddy held me when I cried He always did all he could
He truly was an angel Sent from heaven up above Apparently that angel Had given all his love
Things started going badly The day that Mommy died Though he tried to hide it I know that Daddy cried
He told me she was happy She was watching down on us The funeral was the first time I ever heard Daddy cuss
Daddy told me we'd be fine And took me to the lake He always seemed so happy Till the morning he wouldn't wake
Daddy took some pills last night And now he won't come back Daddy went to be with Mommy And I'm left with Uncle Jack
Daddy was an angel Who dealt with all he could Daddy has finally fallen And now I'm alone for good
|
|
|
Post by Angelamongsociety on Jul 22, 2005 18:07:38 GMT -6
Aww that is so sad. Some people just can't deal with the fact that death happens and this poem realy expressed that. I also like how it seems to have been writen from a child's point of view.
|
|
|
Post by allmeheart on Jul 28, 2005 19:07:21 GMT -6
very good, i really really really liked it, flowed nicely and i also liked that this was a challenge i find that interesting for some odd reason
|
|
|
Post by Sharon on Dec 20, 2005 21:09:28 GMT -6
[glow=purple,2,300]wow, that's a horrible situation to think about but it happens. that is a very interesting approach, telling it from a child's point of view. very nicely written. [/glow]
|
|
|
Post by Laura on Jan 22, 2006 20:13:26 GMT -6
Interesting ideas and concept. The only thing I don't like is the "daddy", although this is supposed to be from a child's perspective, I just don't like the word used in poetry. It's a personal preference thing and I don't suggest you change it by any means, it's just me. Well written though and sad.
|
|