Brilliant Illuminations

[stupidxgirl]

***So like, this was inspired by two songs, both by the same artist, which is Type O Negative. Both songs are very dark and smooth and sexy. I tried to make my poem that way but in my opinion it didn't work. The ending is what throws the whole thing off I think. But with this writers block this is as good as I could do. I like to still push myself to write even during writers block so I don't get out of the swing of things. So bare with me these next few weeks.

We are glowing together
in this seductive twilight
wrapping around one another
forming a new song-
Our beating hearts like
African voodoo drums
slinking their way into the
ears of the surrounding nature.

And here I am swimming
in and out of
what I knew to be true-
And what I only imagine in
the brilliant illumination of your
intoxications.

And I ache for that familiar
chill of a nightmare
running down my spine
and
-this time-
I want to hold on.

So even if it's wrong-
"Let me love you to death"
in this trance-like state you
brought on.
So driven and so drawn,
I'm entangled in how
your moving toward me
While I’m pulling away.

[Laura]

"Our beating hearts like
African voodoo drums
slinking their way into the
ears of the surrounding nature"

--you know, well you should by now, that I am in love with encorporating music in poetry. No different here because you did it so beautifully and originally. The ending was a tad strange ... off from the rest of the poem, not badly written, just off from the rest ... it's still nice. I wish I could write like this during writer's block.

[thecrazybeautiful]

I kinda got the shivers from this. Not bad shivers, of course.

I don't think there's one exact part that I could point out as being really good, but the whole thing kinda fits with each other (Well, duh...nevermind.) and it's all very good.