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Post by allmeheart on Mar 17, 2006 23:58:46 GMT -6
[glow=red,2,300] [/glow]
[glow=red,2,300]The fireworks light up That milky midnight sky Bursting flames Of prospering hope Of faith that will never die Our bodies are entwined As we dream of lasting love And slowly we begin to realize Summers coming to an end We'll return to our own roads Mapping out our lives Alone as autumn begins The leaves will change colors Our hearts following desperately Searching for the star Glowing bright with oppertunity We try to travel forward Yet we both dwell upon the past Returning to those times... Winter reaches our souls Freezing us in time We can't move on Can't look back Just wait until until we thaw In our own bitter worlds But remember the seasons The seasons of love And how they change Spring shall return And we will survive We will heal The embers from the fire Will ignite once more As summer begins again[/glow]
[glow=red,2,300] [/glow]
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Post by Laura on Mar 18, 2006 7:40:04 GMT -6
The beginning started off well with a flow going but the flow didn't stay and the rhythm just wasn't there. It kind of seemed like it was dragged on to fit in all the seasons ... I'm not sure. It's not a bad poem, it just needs work on how to deliver it. I did like these lines:
"We'll return to our own roads Mapping out our lives"
--I just like the idea of mapping ;D
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