My Hippie Love

[stupidxgirl]

And my reasons crossed
the street with that crowd
of oversized and under whelmed
(shoving pushing clawing)
unconscious people.

But you weren't supposed
to walk away remember?
We were supposed to be here-
to go there-
to cross that line together
and end up on the other
side still thinking the world
was ours to hold.

So juvenile and so drawn
together,
scribbles and eraser marks,
and four fingers on one hand.

But it was our planned
out excitement,
our protest against
the real world.

["just take what you need
and be on your way,
and stop crying your heart out."]

but you took me further
down then anything
could ever lift me up
and it was so worth it.

Our love was 'Cid and Nancy-
and Bonne and Clyde
and those god awful freedom
fighters- born.

And we swore we would
substitute the black paint
for some blue and green
and pink frilly flowers
and puffy overly gay clouds.

But I stood on the opposite
side, watching my reason
creep hurriedly into the crowd
of oversized and under whelmed
(kicking screaming conforming)
unconscious people.

a/n: I decided to put this at the bottom on this one so no one had any preconvieved ideas of the poem. Basically I'm a hippie without the drugs, and I dated a guy who was supposed to show me the world and help me take charge of everything. He had similar views as me so I thought. But It turned out he was just the same as everyone else I have ever dated. The lines in " "s are from the song Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis. And when I say "my reasons" It meant him...but saying 'you' was just boring to me. There's another line some people may not understand, and that's when I'm talking about "our love was...*names of people*...born" Basically it meant we took after those sort of people. I hope someone likes it, and sorry for the long explination LoL.

[Laura]

I didn't think it was your best but I did like these lines:

"creep hurriedly into the crowd
of oversized and under whelmed"

--and I liked how you embedded Oasis lyrics into it but made it stand out from the rest to show distinction. The thing I like about your poetry is your cut off sentences starting anew ... I don't know, that might be blabber ... you cut off your sentences half way through to make two or possibly more lines and I like that. Most people can't pull it off.

[QueenPaige4]

I thought it was very good...i liked it

[thecrazybeautiful]

"We were supposed to be here-
to go there-
to cross that line together
and end up on the other
side still thinking the world
was ours to hold."

Wow, I really like that.

I have to agree with Laura, I like the way the lines are split up. Since I first started reading other people's poetry, I've loved when they split up the lines like in the middle of the thought...

I also like the repitition of the beginning in the end.

Very good.