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Post by The Sightless Dreamer on Mar 11, 2006 10:09:24 GMT -6
This is something Ive hid for far to long Never showing more than enough My love kept a dark deep secret Until that one day Someone was able to see my love Feel my pain He looked into my eyes and he saw it all He took that weight off and let me go, made me fly For far to long I'd been held down afraid to go to far He made me feel safe, gave back that taken faith He gave me love, now I'm paying it back
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Post by Laura on Mar 11, 2006 11:24:03 GMT -6
"gave back that taken faith"
--it actually sounds strange, but that's possibly why I liked this line. The poem overall was okay, I didn't find it spectacular. I think this:
"He took that weight off let me go"
--would sound better with "and" between "off" and "let" ... but that's me.
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