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Post by thecrazybeautiful on Jan 29, 2006 11:37:32 GMT -6
I wrote this one last summer. I don't exactly know why I wrote it... Oh well
Come Clean
Please lock the door, and cleanse me over your precious air. I can come clean if the care and effort is meaningful.
Please don't wrinkle my fingertips. (I never liked it before,
though I would find a comfort knowing you shaped a part of me.)
And if I am stubborn, guide me as best you can, for if you mean no harm, I will gladly follow, and I will fall into you.
We shall combne ourselves.
If tomorrow comes, and you wake in a place where time does not exist, if you're still surrounded by my memory,
remember you still have my poison.
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Post by Laura on Jan 29, 2006 12:13:49 GMT -6
You have some fantastic lines here... " Please don't wrinkle my fingertips" --I love this ... yet I don't like pruney fingers either, heh. " and you wake in a place where time does not exist, if you're still surrounded by my memory," --really interesting thought here. I liked this. For someone so young, you really have something. Imagine when you're 25 ... you'll be writing poetry books
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Post by thecrazybeautiful on Jan 30, 2006 15:01:12 GMT -6
25... Whoa, that's hard to imagine... I just hope I'm not going to be writing like I'm way older right now, and then be older writing like a 13-year-old. That would be very strange. Thanks
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Post by Laura on Jan 30, 2006 15:05:46 GMT -6
Heh, yes, that would suck. When I was 13 my writing was pure and utter garbage.
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Post by allmeheart on Feb 2, 2006 17:49:32 GMT -6
interesting read you've come up w/, nice content, good title too, my only suggestion is to not put parenthesis (h/e u spell it) around : (I never liked it before,
though I would find a comfort knowing you shaped a part of me.)
good job though, i still loved this
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Post by Only Me on Feb 9, 2006 1:15:22 GMT -6
being 13 was the worst year of my life as well as the only part of my life that i didnt have severe writers block... and 25 is not old I am almost there great poem for being so young, I must ask how you know so much about the stuff you write about? I mean when I was 13 boys were the last thing on my mind... love and all that junk was a far away dream...
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Post by thecrazybeautiful on Feb 9, 2006 15:23:25 GMT -6
I don't really know why I write like I do. I've written about love so much, it's like it doesn't have to be real for me. Well, it is always real, the things and people I write about, but it's just so easy.
Also, I am mature for my age, and I'm expecting things to happen, and blah blah blah, but they're not going to happen until I'm a few years older. So I just write about them...
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Post by Laura on Feb 9, 2006 15:27:59 GMT -6
I had a boyfriend at 13 ... I think 12 is the age we start thinking about stuff but not many can write as good as you can at that age.
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Post by thecrazybeautiful on Feb 9, 2006 15:34:03 GMT -6
I've had the so called "first boyfriend" already. I never wrote about it though... I'm kinda glad I didn't though, because the first things I wrote were pure trash.
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Post by Laura on Feb 9, 2006 15:37:59 GMT -6
Hahahaha ... some of my stuff was so bad I threw it away. I regret burning a poem I wrote for my first love though ... I mean if things went differently, I wouldn't have thrown it in the fire.
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Post by thecrazybeautiful on Feb 9, 2006 15:45:43 GMT -6
I would throw some of mine away, but I hate throwing things away... I've got folders for every year in middle school with tons of things in them from that year. Including the poetry... I think it'll be nice though, when I'm older I can look through the folders and see what I did...
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Post by Laura on Feb 9, 2006 15:51:31 GMT -6
Well back then I thought my crap was good but back in 2002 or something I went through them and went "that sucks" and threw it away but now I'm saying that about my 2002 stuff and I'm sure I'll think the same about my now stuff a couple years from now.
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Post by thecrazybeautiful on Feb 9, 2006 20:08:19 GMT -6
Well your stuff now is good.
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