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Post by Absinthe on Apr 3, 2008 21:47:01 GMT -6
September nights we felt the rush of summer tinged with fall star gazing days, we basked in rays of unobjecting moons but you left me here in horrid fits of harsh torrential tears you've a lovely way of saying words to broadcast all my fears still we danced these same damned steps with perfect practiced ease I pushed just as hard as I dared I was never good at lying especially to myself I'm just trying to forget
You're still a part of me.
I'm absolutely horrid at love poems
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Post by Sharon on Apr 5, 2008 0:42:08 GMT -6
These lines really stood out for me. I'm not quite sure of the message you were trying to portray but here goes my take, my interpretation of that small bit: For me, it's like talking to someone who seem to understand everything.. the very things you are feeling/experiencing ...and them being able to express that they really do understand and even though they wouldn't be necessarily offering any solutions or alternatives.. there's a sense of comfort of simply being heard. Being understood, doesn't always solve problems or worries - sometimes the understanding are just confirmations that they indeed exist. I know you don't usually do love poetry, but I think you did a pretty good job with this one
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Post by thecrazybeautiful on Apr 5, 2008 7:56:17 GMT -6
I read this one yesterday, and the first thing I thought was how it seems more indirect than just a simple love poem. Like, it's got the love elements, but you were able to twist it around to fit a style you're more used to, if that makes sense.
I really like this poem.
"but you left me here in horrid fits of harsh torrential tears you've a lovely way of saying words to broadcast all my fears"
That was my favorite part. It's got a nice emotional aspect that I can somewhat relate to, and the rhyme was well done. I noticed there was rhyme with the days/rays as well, and I liked how you placed these rhymes. They seem unintentional, but add a nice ring to the lines.
So yeah, I like this one.
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Post by QueenPaige4 on Apr 7, 2008 18:42:53 GMT -6
I don't have much to say about this considering this has left me utterly speechless but overall it was brilliant.
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