|
Beauty
Jan 5, 2006 0:07:49 GMT -6
Post by karl on Jan 5, 2006 0:07:49 GMT -6
This is a poem I wrote recently for my girlfriend. It has some references which you will not understand, because these references are "inside jokes," as it were. I don't think it will hinder your experience too much though.
"Beauty"
Arrival at home Brings sighs of relief From the whole family I travel sleepily to the kitchen And there sits a big, red present On its shiny wrapping paper are Marks made by the same loving hand That I’d held in that beautiful moment By the fire, that night in October
My soul lights up and, smiling, I go to the big, blue chair and open it: A scarf as cuddly as a chinchilla I press it against my face and find That it smells like loving memories Memories of benches, bleachers, and big hugs Memories of skipping back into the PAC After a not-long-enough chorus break These and many other memories swirl in my head And in my heart.
As I open the card Out falls a small, glass heart Inside the card I find Happy wishes sent to me From the source Of so many previous joys. Post-script, I find a symbol of our love: “I have one heart, You have the other.” And it’s so true that I cry I cry because love is beautiful Because I know I mean the most To the girl who means the most to me And because that Is the most beautiful thing In the world ?
|
|
|
Beauty
Jan 5, 2006 15:48:36 GMT -6
Post by Laura on Jan 5, 2006 15:48:36 GMT -6
" On its shiny wrapping paper are Marks made by the same loving hand That I’d held in that beautiful moment By the fire, that night in October" --really nice write. This was especially my favourite. I know what you mean with inside references, I've used them before in my poetry, but I don't think it changes the way it comes out to the reader. I'm unsure of the question mark at the end ... is it an error? Good job
|
|
|
Beauty
Jan 15, 2006 20:05:10 GMT -6
Post by Sharon on Jan 15, 2006 20:05:10 GMT -6
aww... that's really sweet. i'm gonna have to second Laura's observation, i think that question mark is an error. the only thing that i'd change about this poem is the capitals of each line. For me, everytime i see a capital (other than a name or "I") i usually think it's a new line with a new idea and not a continuation of the previous line. Then again, that could also be only me. either way, this was an enjoyable read, thank you!
|
|
|
Beauty
Jan 19, 2006 0:22:00 GMT -6
Post by Only Me on Jan 19, 2006 0:22:00 GMT -6
"I cry because love is beautiful Because I know I mean the most To the girl who means the most to me" This is my favorite part. I don't know why but it hits a spot. I won't go into details but this poem held a lot of meaning for me. I could really feel the emotions behind it. Great work!
|
|