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Post by Cullen on Feb 8, 2008 14:41:53 GMT -6
I was sitting in the restaurant Twirling slowly my chopstick Through the lemon sauce. It reminded me of the dizzying look I found in her eyes.
The half a bowl of plain, white rice Screamed at me, just as blank paper did I wanted to scream back, but she wouldn’t hear me, for she was 300 miles away.
The bowls and glasses shook, the cola trembled with fear. One new message, my cell phone jeered. How could I reply? I wondered
Can one truly send love in this way? leave his texts a message to portray? Send a dozen digital roses or a kiss? Tell a friend that it’s truly her I miss?
My fingers felt heavy as they hit the keys. I summed up the courage to type the words out, then I lost my nerve. I deleted the message. Replied “lol.” It was to be seen by no one, but me.
The waitress brought my fortune cookie It tasted plain and frail. And from it I unrolled this infinite wisdom: “The smartest thing to do is to begin trusting your intuitions.”
I chuckled and mumbled “in bed” Then, as my mind began again to wander I let the paper fall, lightly, slowly Quietly it sifted down into the lemon sauce.
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Post by thecrazybeautiful on Feb 8, 2008 20:38:13 GMT -6
Hmm, this is kind of cute.
I've been in similar situations, wanting to text or write someone, then I just chicken out. Arg, I hate when that happens...
Anyway, nice job.
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Post by Isabela on Feb 10, 2008 12:12:04 GMT -6
This is kinda sad. I've never been in a situation like this but texting someone your feelings doesn't sound like something one would want to do, in person is better so you know how they react.
But I liked it, it was nice and it flowed. Great work
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nina
A Devoted Distraction
Posts: 189
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Post by nina on Feb 10, 2008 12:28:50 GMT -6
Awe, that is sad and cute at the same time. I think that people should tell their true feelings face to face instead of through email and text messages. It's just better to see a persons expression up close. Then you can look into their eyes and know what they are thinking.
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Post by Cullen on Feb 10, 2008 17:54:17 GMT -6
I did say 300 miles away right?
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Post by QueenPaige4 on Feb 12, 2008 17:54:13 GMT -6
Yes, I belive so. Truthfully this is a very well written poem and I loved it. I will have to say telling someone in person your feelings is worth it but writing everything out just seems to work better for me. I don't know though, I tell my boyfriend everything including how I feel about him.
Thanks for sharing, you have true talent.
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Post by Isabela on Feb 12, 2008 19:06:40 GMT -6
Yeah writing things out works better for me too, I find it harder to say thing then it is to write it. But I did like this, it reminded me of a few things, long distance love is hard.
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Post by fightingirishman on Mar 7, 2009 23:48:50 GMT -6
It's cool, I like this style of poem. I wasn't crazy about the rhyming in the italicized bit, it was a little forced, but the idea there was cool.
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maieen
Wishes To Be A Distraction
Posts: 2
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Post by maieen on Jun 3, 2014 10:46:24 GMT -6
Love your metaphors and style. It's so... sincere.
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Post by theihatediaries on Jul 1, 2014 19:16:19 GMT -6
Loved your ability to describe your surroundings! I do agree the italicized bit was forced though. Overall great poem.
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