Titles aren't my strong point.

[NotSoPerfect]

I'm not much of a poet, but the words just came out and I couldn't stop them. I don't even know if they make sense, they just felt right.




Incorporate my frail subtleties into your horizon -
Needless and insatiable, but apathy overcomes.
Everyone sees right though me -
Everyone hears my silent cries -
Desperation is the most accurate description.
You’ve always known that, borne witness to that.
Overdone and underdeveloped, your romance is so eloquent.
Understand, for once, that I need this more than anything.

[Absinthe]

It made sense, to me at least. I loved the line;

"Overdone and underdeveloped, your romance is so eloquent."

....It just jumped out at me. Great word play here. Oh, and I totally thought upon first read that the line;

"Desperation is the most accurate description."

was "Desperation is the most accurate deception." and I really liked that. Which makes me think.....hmm. Would you mind if I used that line - the "accurate deception" not exactly yours but quite similar?

Anyway, I'm rambling. I liked this.

[NotSoPerfect]

Knock yourself out... I don't mind at all if you use that. Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it.

[thecrazybeautiful]

Personally, my favorite line was the first one. The word choice was good, and I liked how you said "your horizon." It has metaphorical depth to it.

The only part I didn't like much was the "everyone sees/everyone hears" lines. They seem a little too genetic, maybe? But all in all, this was very enjoyable.