Wax Off Goo

[Laura]

I am cereal
one of those Mini-Wheats
crispy with a touch of sweet
though too much milk and I soak it up
and I turn to mush
like a teenage love story

I dream of dancing on the tip
your nose looks so big from down here
but I know you're beautiful
when I'm so small
I know you're the prettiest of girls
waiting to be noticed

the grasp we have on each other
it could be considered magic
maybe by a blood donor, a circus clown
maybe by a one-armed black eyed man

we could pretend touch was close enough
we could pretend love was in reach of us.


I am cereal
one of those Mini-Wheats
crispy with a touch of sweet
too much milk and it soaks all up
and I mess everything
miss everyone
and turn to mush.

[thecrazybeautiful]

"we could pretend touch was close enough
we could pretend love was in reach of us."

I like the feel of hope in those lines, yet how they say that they know that the 'touch' isn't close enough, or the 'love' isn't in reach. It's just that word 'pretend' that fits so well into poetry, if it's used well, and it is.

I also like the reference of being cereal. It's silly in a nice kind of way, and it actually relates to what it's saying.

And the google ads at the bottom of the page are reading 'Special K Cereal, Kellog's Cereal, Whole Grain Cereal, Oat Cereal.' Gotta love it.

[stupidxgirl]

This is great, I'm so glad to get to see more of your writing doll. I love the images these lines put in your head : "maybe by a blood donor, a circus clown
maybe by a one-armed black eyed man" It's a smoothe easy read, well done

[Absinthe]

I like this.....I can't explain it, but I do. It's just one of those things where the whole piece just rolls around my mind, embedding itself. Great job.