You're Still (in my jeans)

[Laura]

how well does the sun rise over Jupiter?
you always loved that planet most
sounds like a goddess, with silver hair and envy green eyes

our love,
it's written like a fairytale
all drawn out and epic-like
revolving around each other
stained with understanding.

as wide as the horizon, it feels this good
to be close to you
your fingers tracing down my arms and over my skin
I feel as beautiful as you describe Jupiter
when the dawn breaks
and the morning comes

I rise with you.

we're water in the driest of deserts
soaking the dehydrated sand
moistening the atmosphere,
the air belongs to us.

in uniform, we're so perfect together
consistent and heaven bound
your hands are the music when we dance
my feet writing out rhythms on this old wooden floor
it used to be a parlor
a beautiful palace
a place to reflect
and now it's ours.

and after the sunrise, the shower, and the smiles
you go off out somewhere
time will stand still as this fairytale pauses
and your name it's written inside me
and you're the peach to my cream
and you're still.

in my jeans.

[grifter]

awww...

this poem makes me want to be loved too.

beautiful sights n sounds n sentiments

"my feet writing out rhythms on this old wooden floor"

my favorite line

[thecrazybeautiful]

"in uniform, we're so perfect together
consistent and heaven bound"

Ah, you have no clue how much that could relate to me. Ok, so I had to wear uniform the past three school years. And my friends are always telling me that me and my absolute best guy friend are "perfect" together. So, weird, you just kinda described the relationship I have with him (not that kind of relationship... more of a friendship I guess I should say).

I love your description of Jupiter in this. I've always loved reading about the planets.

So I think this is one of your best love poems. Something about it pulls me in... and just keeps my attention.

[stupidxgirl]

This is perfect Laura. I have been struggling so much with my own writing, I'm about to give up! LoL But it's good to see something from you again I look forward to reading your stuff.

"how well does the sun rise over Jupiter?
you always loved that planet most
sounds like a goddess, with silver hair and envy green eyes"

Amazing images here, I have fallen like mad for this poem. Great job!

[Sharon]

how well does the sun rise over Jupiter?
you always loved that planet most
sounds like a goddess, with silver hair and envy green eyes

our love,
it's written like a fairytale
all drawn out and epic-like
revolving around each other
stained with understanding.

it's interesting, i don't know about everyone else but when i hear the word "stained" i kind of see it as a negative thing (kind of like an unwanted mark) and that's basically how interpreted this part.

and after the sunrise, the shower, and the smiles
you go off out somewhere
time will stand still as this fairytale pauses
and your name it's written inside me
and you're the peach to my cream
and you're still.

in my jeans.

Fantastic ending.

[Laura]

I don't see stained as negative. I see it as something that's permanent.

[Sharon]

..and that just goes to prove that everyone's minds work differently i didn't mean to imply that everyone looks at it that way, i was just saying.

[Laura]

Oh I know, I was just giving what I look at it as

[QueenPaige4]

I really liked this piece laura..its so final and right to the point...very good i loved it...one of my favorite poems on sd

[Absinthe]

"your fingers tracing down my arms and over my skin
I feel as beautiful as you describe Jupiter"

....I really like these lines. They flow really well......they just reverberate.....great job.