grifter
A Devoted Distraction
Posts: 135
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Post by grifter on Apr 18, 2006 21:47:54 GMT -6
my pupils let go
of light
in her slick velvet
the sky crunches
bang
the ground
pushes back
every door everywhere
opens
and we peek
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Post by Laura on Apr 19, 2006 15:43:53 GMT -6
The beginning:
"my pupils let go
of light"
--was my favourite part. I'm sorry I'm not much for commenting right now.
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Post by thecrazybeautiful on Apr 19, 2006 15:47:17 GMT -6
"the sky crunches bang the ground pushes back" Something about the words crunch and push. I love them  Not bad. |
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Post by Absinthe on Jan 28, 2007 22:58:26 GMT -6
I couldn't possible explain why, but I like this.
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