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Post by Sharon on Sept 7, 2021 17:01:12 GMT -6
I Didn't Know
I didn't know days could be so long I didn't know life is too short
Janie set the coffee on struggling to take her next breath she sat down on the floor clutching her chest
Timmy fixed his tie ready for his interview they said sorry but we hired someone not as qualified as you.
Susie laid still staring at the ceiling once again Maybe the kids will visit me today the machines continue to hum God give me a reason to stay
I'm reaching out to you trying to hold on Are you listening? Can you hear me?
I didn't know.
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Post by Absinthe on Sept 7, 2021 17:58:04 GMT -6
This is interesting Sharon and definitely relatable. I liked that first stanza: I Didn't KnowI didn't know days could be so long I didn't know life is too short I feel like if you added another syllable to that last line, it might flow more naturally though. Maybe: "I didn't know days could be so long I didn't know that life is too short" Overall, it's definitely thought-provoking. The things people experience all the time - all these daily "little" tragedies. It is a little heartbreaking to think about.
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Post by Sharon on Sept 7, 2021 18:11:28 GMT -6
Little tragedies, I like that. Thanks for your feedback.
I originally wrote this as a song but it never developed into one. I'm always captivated by simple lyrics that were clearly inspired by very real emotions. Jewel's songwriting is very much like that. I wasn't able to capture the same with this piece but I feel like if I continue to aim for it I will get there some day.
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Post by Absinthe on Sept 7, 2021 18:13:55 GMT -6
Oh, Jewel is fantastic at that. Have you read her book of poetry? It's called "A Night Without Armor" and you can really see her songwriting reflected within her poetry.
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Post by Sharon on Sept 7, 2021 18:37:12 GMT -6
Oh, Jewel is fantastic at that. Have you read her book of poetry? It's called "A Night Without Armor" and you can really see her songwriting reflected within her poetry. I haven't read that one! I listened to her Audiobook 'Never Broken' and absolutely loved it. She narrated it as well and I loved how she sang some parts. I've always loved Jewel but after listening to her book I appreciate her story and talent even more.
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Post by Absinthe on Sept 7, 2021 18:59:41 GMT -6
I'll have to check out "Never Broken" - that sounds like a great listen.
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