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You
May 23, 2007 21:06:42 GMT -6
Post by Absinthe on May 23, 2007 21:06:42 GMT -6
So, yeah - confusing situations abound. This isn't my best piece. I am well aware of that. I just need to write some things out, ya know?
I love you How fucking stupid is that? You're so damn perfect, beautiful in a way I never knew existed. But so is she....
. . .to you.
And I hate her for it. I've loved her longer, like a sister - but losing her;
it's worth it.
And Damn you for making me apathetic to her woes. And Damn her for not deserving you.
I'm so fucking confused and it's you. . .
. . .it's always been you
that's got me tongue tied and twisted.
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You
May 23, 2007 21:11:08 GMT -6
Post by NotSoPerfect on May 23, 2007 21:11:08 GMT -6
Alright, first of all I am totally biased because you just perfectly wrote the feelings I had about six months ago. EXACTLY. I could never have written it better. Not that I would try, because you are an amazing author, but the point is, thank you for writing that. It personally brings me closure. And I am SO sorry that you ever had to feel those feelings, too.
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You
May 23, 2007 21:21:14 GMT -6
Post by Absinthe on May 23, 2007 21:21:14 GMT -6
I'm glad I was of some help to you. I've been fighting my feelings for this guy since before he and one of my best friends got together. I don't know. It's just so confusing sometimes, ya know? Like I feel more comfortable with him than I've ever felt with anybody and he knows me better than anyone, and yet he's been dating her for nearly two years now - even though I know for a fact she's just stringing him along, but I could never tell him that. I would never want to break his heart that way, ya know? it sucks.
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You
May 23, 2007 21:32:30 GMT -6
Post by NotSoPerfect on May 23, 2007 21:32:30 GMT -6
Yeah.
My boyfriend left me for my best friend, who obviously is not my friend anymore. Last fall semester, he transferred to UB and was seeing us both... and I knew it, but I was in denial. But it's over now, thank god. He transferred back to New Jersey and they broke up. But it was torture.
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You
May 23, 2007 21:43:28 GMT -6
Post by Absinthe on May 23, 2007 21:43:28 GMT -6
Yeah, that would be hard.
Mine is more - I had a crush on this guy who I was friends with, but we weren't that close. A friend I've known since we were like 5 wasn't interested in him at all until he lost a bunch of weight and joined the football team and started running track. I've always hated how she is with guys. She gets them to fall for her so completely and then she strings them along, crushing them little by little. He's fallen for her and can't see through the games she's playing with him.
In the past year, he an I have grown so much closer than ever. She goes to NCCC and commutes from home. He's at UofR and I'm at Brockport, so we're both in the Rochester area, whereas she's back toward Buffalo. He and I don't really get to see eachother much, be we have talked more in the past year than I think we talked in our entire friendship to that point. I've found myself falling for him completely, which is so stupid, because I'm only going to get hurt in the end, but there's not much I can do about it - can't help the things you feel, right?
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You
May 23, 2007 22:07:09 GMT -6
Post by Cullen on May 23, 2007 22:07:09 GMT -6
Just f-ing tell him, you said it was worth losing her for him, and shes just going to drop him in the end anyway. Coming from a guy, trust me just tell him how you feel, he'll either agree with these feelings and break up with her or he wont in which case you wouldnt have had a chance either way...it all comes down to whether you want a heart or two broken now or broken later, in the end its all the same. or you could do what i do and weasel around and break them up (ive actually perfected the art, if i really dont want two people together give me a week and they wont be)
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You
May 23, 2007 22:14:02 GMT -6
Post by Absinthe on May 23, 2007 22:14:02 GMT -6
Sounds so easy, but that's not me - I'm not that type of person. I've grown up in a strict military family - my whole life I've had the mantra "shut up and blend in" beat into my psyche. That's not something you just one day recover from. I can't go all out like that - its not my style. You've no fucking idea how much I wish it was.
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You
May 23, 2007 22:25:34 GMT -6
Post by Cullen on May 23, 2007 22:25:34 GMT -6
It doesnt have to be your style, everyone breaks character sometimes. Thats all life is one big f**k**g play, no ones a perfect actor everyone has to break their part or its not their's. Dont think, just do, call him right now as you read this message, if your hands not on the phone you're not listening. Just do it. There are consequences to every action but those consequences are either going to be good or bad you wont know until you try, if you don't try they could end up married with you at the wedding thinking to yourself, "why didn't i just tell him...."
"Do what you want and f**k everything else" -Dwayne, in Little Miss Sunshine
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You
May 23, 2007 22:43:22 GMT -6
Post by Cullen on May 23, 2007 22:43:22 GMT -6
hell you could even send him this poem...telling him how you feel
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You
May 24, 2007 0:40:39 GMT -6
Post by Absinthe on May 24, 2007 0:40:39 GMT -6
I did it. Holly f*ck, I told him. I'm officially freaking out. Been talking to him for quite a while now.
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You
May 24, 2007 10:15:42 GMT -6
Post by NotSoPerfect on May 24, 2007 10:15:42 GMT -6
Omg, you told him?! Wow. Please keep me updated.
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You
May 24, 2007 11:48:22 GMT -6
Post by Absinthe on May 24, 2007 11:48:22 GMT -6
I actually gave him this poem, like Fool of Days suggested. Then, it went from there. We talked until really late this morning, but he had to work today, so we cut it shorter than either of us would have liked. He said that he was speechless in a "very good way" and that if anything changed between us it would be for the better not for the worse (I admitted that I was afraid to lose him as a friend/be awkward around him).
I'm not sure where we go from here - but we're working on it. I'm still kind of feeling the aftershocks of it all.
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You
May 24, 2007 15:14:35 GMT -6
Post by Cullen on May 24, 2007 15:14:35 GMT -6
Your welcome!
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You
May 24, 2007 17:17:46 GMT -6
Post by Sharon on May 24, 2007 17:17:46 GMT -6
well, i'm glad to see things aren't going bad for you at all - i hope it all works out for you!
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You
May 30, 2007 20:16:23 GMT -6
Post by Absinthe on May 30, 2007 20:16:23 GMT -6
I've been talking to him a lot since I told him how I felt. He keeps coming back to this poem - telling me how "phenomenal". i can't help but be optomistic
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You
Jun 1, 2007 14:29:25 GMT -6
Post by NotSoPerfect on Jun 1, 2007 14:29:25 GMT -6
i told you that poem really reached out to me... maybe it's just one of those things. it really expresses something that a lot of people experience but few can vocalize, not to mention that it can apply to such a variety of situations. i am so happy for you
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