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Post by Carissa Marie on Jan 2, 2006 20:53:20 GMT -6
CANDY KISSES You bought me a brand new heartache, love, in a sweet shop down on Easy Street... (The one with displays of tender candy kisses in elegantly candlelit windows)-- The epitome of sweet.
I guess it was affordable--the price tag located on every box of diamond dusted deceit... (It was worth the pain, the tears, the loss)-- The bitter cost of me.
Candy kisses in my nightmares, (And your face inside my dreams)... I run my fingers across a box of love-- And taste only the bitter taste of cheap.
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Post by Laura on Jan 3, 2006 6:59:45 GMT -6
This was interesting and original.
"the price tag located on every box of diamond dusted deceit... (It was worth the pain, the tears, the loss)-- The bitter cost of me."
--my favourite part. I like how the rhyme is quiet and not forced.
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Post by Only Me on Jan 19, 2006 0:37:27 GMT -6
Maybe it is just me, but I feel like the ending is missing something? I do like it, but I feel something needs to be added to the end.
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Post by allmeheart on Feb 2, 2006 16:19:26 GMT -6
i liked the way it ended, sort of left you hanging with a question in your mind, i like the way it began as well, very interesting comparisons in this piece, good job i say
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