Nothing but Midnight Here

[Laura]

you're as midnight as I could have pictured you and thought, oh how I dreamt of thinking about you with you still here.
How it was supposedly easy to hail thought. All thoughts are brought to bring us together, you said, I felt, we lied.
Where is the edge? The boundless, limitless sky I used to dive in when I was in need of beauty. Of life, you said I was as pretty as you could have pictured without thinking.
Polish my porcelain and I will cleanse your cuts of any bacteria you may have gotten into your wound. Infected, I will be the cure. Inflicted, I will be the weapon of choice, I always choose well.
To you, I'm frustrated and as heavy as a mother under liquid lights when her baby's gone all night. My eyes are spurting. This isn't laughter.

And you're as chalky as the sidewalk where the five-year-olds play. Do you know where your children are? Do you know where I am?

Speak your
Spill your
Spring your mattress is running deep and empty without me.

I'm sure you're hallucinating. I'm sure you're crowded in a room with no one else but you. Dive. Dive. Dive into the sky where the sun used to be the moon and where I used to be

Where I used to live and breathe and love

you.

[Absinthe]

[glow=black,2,300] I really like how absolutely abstract this is. Even the format is off-kilter, but i like that. It adds to the poem's emotion. You already know that I adore your work, and this piece is no different.

"Polish my porcelain and I will cleanse your cuts of any bacteria you may have gotten into your wound. Infected, I will be the cure. Inflicted, I will be the weapon of choice, I always choose well."


........That part stuck out to me. Excellent job. [/glow]

[Carissa Marie]

"you said I was as pretty as you could have pictured without thinking."


I love that line... I can't really explain why... but when I read it it just touched home somewhere inside me. I also liked your line about thinking of dreaming about someone... Nice.
I agree with Absinthe, the lack of structure in this piece makes it glow even brighter.
You had me from the title, as usual, girl!

[Only Me]

"To you, I'm frustrated and as heavy as a mother under liquid lights when her baby's gone all night" "And you're as chalky as the sidewalk where the five-year-olds play" Both of these lines are excellent metaphors...

[allmeheart]

i like the relations to younger generations, it adds a youthful outlook into a mature understanding giving the view equal balance, you really are a great writer, so far i have enjoyed reading your works more than most