|
Post by Laura on Jan 21, 2006 10:59:43 GMT -6
[ i n t r o ]
there are frozen sparks tip toeing along the shoreline I once saw your face inside that river, and in the sand were our feet, they once traveled together so surely, I would laugh, this was a paradise to remember I knew then it would be the thing to take me down
there have always been stories ones I latch on to feed my brain cells with their tales scatter the letters along a trail and pick up where they left off. I would maze through a woodsy parkside carve stone words into dying trees I would read to myself with you by my side collecting different shades of leaves. I remembered what it felt like to wander tumble through tree tops, ghostly white shedding layers of my skin for another life to grow in, I remember all those words we once spoke. It's difficult to hold on to movement I was a garden, one you would water and my flower bloomed faster than you could keep up with and I then I withered without you. It hurts to feel disappointed and I would turn to the pages for words of comfort but there was no wisdom there as I trotted along the dotted path I created.
and I should miss him more, I think how he's traveled so far without me, I wonder if he could remember the words, the laughter, the glue that held our pages together I still wonder if he wonders if he still dances around burning leaves just sitting by some thorns, untouched awaiting to bloom again I wonder if he could remember . . .
|
|
|
Post by thecrazybeautiful on Jan 21, 2006 11:05:21 GMT -6
"It's difficult to hold on to movement I was a garden, one you would water and my flower bloomed faster than you could keep up with and I then I withered without you."
Ooh, powerful image, I think.
That was really good. It's like I can... see the emotion... I like the ending alot to. And the title is very interesting. Good job.
|
|
|
Post by Only Me on Jan 28, 2006 16:41:51 GMT -6
"and I should miss him more, I think how he's traveled so far without me, I wonder if he could remember the words, the laughter, the glue that held our pages together"
This part was really powerful to me... great work as always@!
|
|
|
Post by allmeheart on Feb 2, 2006 17:09:45 GMT -6
nice use of imagery and the fact u stated about the intro made things much easier to understand, i like the rhyme scheme of this, nice job
|
|