Post by zach on May 11, 2005 22:20:08 GMT -6
Hey, so first of all I'd like to make sure everyone realizes that my writing is a little different from most of the other pieces of writing posted here... My writing is basically comedy for very odd people, like myself. So please don't assume that I'm "immature" or anything like that just because I'm not writing about sad or intense subjects in a very formal way. This is just my unusual way of expressing myself. Thank you.
So Many Pigs...
A chilling Science Fiction Tale by Zachary Ossefort
(Written on 3/18/04)
Calvin was 13 years old. He lived in a nice, clean home along with his parents, two 16 year old sisters, and one 9 year old brother. Calvin really enjoyed his life, besides the fact that his sisters and brother were always messing things up for him. He could pretty much get around that, though. Over the years he had sort of mastered the art of ignoring them and fending them off in various devious ways in order for him to have a much better life overall. His parents were wonderful folks, and they had a very good relationship with Calvin, despite his siblings.*
The loaf of cheese idea didn't work out after all. The one time Samantha tried to eat it, she fainted right as her teeth sunk into its strongly flavorful edibleness. One smokey didn't fit into the box correctly, so it exploded. All of the smokey's delicate bits and pieces were scattered across the light, patterned floor. When Joey discovered the scattered smokey, he soon discovered that the entire room was actually a small piece of cheese. His head spun and he fell to the cold, hard floor and there was darkness.
Chapter 2
(The story is now in chapters)
Jimmy ate the piece of cheese. It was late at night when he stumbled upon the lonely room. He, too, noticed that it was, in reality, a piece of cheese. "Wow..." He mumbled with a sly smile. "What a... lovely... piece of cheese..." And, right then and there, he picked up the lump of yumminess and swallowed it in one guuuh. He fainted, just as Samantha had. Now at this point, just in case you were convinced otherwise because of the seemingly abrupt change in the story's plot, Samantha is, in fact, part of this "story". So keep following along and you will soon find out that Samantha, Joey, and Jimmy all wake up simultaneously!
Meanwhile, Samantha woke up and died shortly afterward. Her parents brought her back to life shortly after that and then they brought her home and none of them were ever seen again... Joey woke up at exactly the same time as Samantha, and didn't die. He got up and looked around him. There was nothing but... Well... Nothing. It was indescribable. It was simply nothing, although it is really impossible to put nothing into words. The reason for this was that, as you know, the room that he had been in before was actually a piece of cheese, which had recently been eaten by Jimmy, who he did not know. Joey cried out and then he died out.
Meanwhile, Jimmy woke up at EXACTLY the same time as the other two folks did. Jimmy coughed up a slug. As he stared at it in deep wonder, it began to flicker and then stopped. But instead of a slimy slug sitting in his hand, there was now a small piece of cheese. "This room is a bit too plain for my taste..." said Jimmy. He was speaking of the cheese in his hand.
Chapter 16
Samantha died. And this time it was for good. There was no clear reason why she had died... It all just seemed like a fish to her parents, and fish was not their food... Samantha had weighed 10,876 pounds, except on Thursdays, in which case she would randomly lose 10,800 pounds. But on those particular days, she would always sleep until the morning of the next day, and nobody could possibly wake her up in any way whatsoever for a reason that is still unknown today.
Jimmy also died for the same reason: none. He just flopped over while he was having his morning coffee at some point in his life. It may have even been before this story took place, and he could have just un-died and then had all of these experiences. But I really actually wish that I hadn't brought this up because it is a complicated thought for the majority of the population, and besides that, I need to go eat something.
THE ACTUAL END
*At this point, I decided that I didn't actually want to carry out the idea that I originally had (about creating a sci-fi pig-based novel that is completely structured around everyone in a kid's life turning into a pig with gnashing teeth and glowing red eyes and the kid trying to find out what to do about it), so the story kind of... well... falls apart after that... But it's still good, though! Worth reading! (Depending on the kind of person you are, of course...)
So Many Pigs...
A chilling Science Fiction Tale by Zachary Ossefort
(Written on 3/18/04)
Calvin was 13 years old. He lived in a nice, clean home along with his parents, two 16 year old sisters, and one 9 year old brother. Calvin really enjoyed his life, besides the fact that his sisters and brother were always messing things up for him. He could pretty much get around that, though. Over the years he had sort of mastered the art of ignoring them and fending them off in various devious ways in order for him to have a much better life overall. His parents were wonderful folks, and they had a very good relationship with Calvin, despite his siblings.*
The loaf of cheese idea didn't work out after all. The one time Samantha tried to eat it, she fainted right as her teeth sunk into its strongly flavorful edibleness. One smokey didn't fit into the box correctly, so it exploded. All of the smokey's delicate bits and pieces were scattered across the light, patterned floor. When Joey discovered the scattered smokey, he soon discovered that the entire room was actually a small piece of cheese. His head spun and he fell to the cold, hard floor and there was darkness.
Chapter 2
(The story is now in chapters)
Jimmy ate the piece of cheese. It was late at night when he stumbled upon the lonely room. He, too, noticed that it was, in reality, a piece of cheese. "Wow..." He mumbled with a sly smile. "What a... lovely... piece of cheese..." And, right then and there, he picked up the lump of yumminess and swallowed it in one guuuh. He fainted, just as Samantha had. Now at this point, just in case you were convinced otherwise because of the seemingly abrupt change in the story's plot, Samantha is, in fact, part of this "story". So keep following along and you will soon find out that Samantha, Joey, and Jimmy all wake up simultaneously!
Meanwhile, Samantha woke up and died shortly afterward. Her parents brought her back to life shortly after that and then they brought her home and none of them were ever seen again... Joey woke up at exactly the same time as Samantha, and didn't die. He got up and looked around him. There was nothing but... Well... Nothing. It was indescribable. It was simply nothing, although it is really impossible to put nothing into words. The reason for this was that, as you know, the room that he had been in before was actually a piece of cheese, which had recently been eaten by Jimmy, who he did not know. Joey cried out and then he died out.
Meanwhile, Jimmy woke up at EXACTLY the same time as the other two folks did. Jimmy coughed up a slug. As he stared at it in deep wonder, it began to flicker and then stopped. But instead of a slimy slug sitting in his hand, there was now a small piece of cheese. "This room is a bit too plain for my taste..." said Jimmy. He was speaking of the cheese in his hand.
Chapter 16
Samantha died. And this time it was for good. There was no clear reason why she had died... It all just seemed like a fish to her parents, and fish was not their food... Samantha had weighed 10,876 pounds, except on Thursdays, in which case she would randomly lose 10,800 pounds. But on those particular days, she would always sleep until the morning of the next day, and nobody could possibly wake her up in any way whatsoever for a reason that is still unknown today.
Jimmy also died for the same reason: none. He just flopped over while he was having his morning coffee at some point in his life. It may have even been before this story took place, and he could have just un-died and then had all of these experiences. But I really actually wish that I hadn't brought this up because it is a complicated thought for the majority of the population, and besides that, I need to go eat something.
THE ACTUAL END
*At this point, I decided that I didn't actually want to carry out the idea that I originally had (about creating a sci-fi pig-based novel that is completely structured around everyone in a kid's life turning into a pig with gnashing teeth and glowing red eyes and the kid trying to find out what to do about it), so the story kind of... well... falls apart after that... But it's still good, though! Worth reading! (Depending on the kind of person you are, of course...)
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