Post by Angelamongsociety on May 9, 2005 14:42:36 GMT -6
“Why hello again.” Jake said to me with a big smile. “Hi, Jake.” I said smiling back, “How’s business?” “Oh not to well I’m afraid. ”He said as his smile faded. The girl stared at me and Jake noticed her looking at me. “Goodness, where are my manners?” Jake said with a laugh. “Sophia, this is Emily, she has just moved here from America.” “Hello.” I said. “Hi!”She said sounding perky. “Jake, I must be getting home now. ” I said as I handed him the money. “Oh, right.” he said. “I must be leaving to.” Emily said to Jake. “Sophia. I believe I have seen you in my apartment before.” “We can walk there together if you want to.” She said sweetly. “Sure.” I said nervously. I hated meeting new people. We waved good-bye to Jake and left the store.
“So what room number do you live in?” She asked me. “Number 44.” I said as I looked at the ground “Really, my room number is 50, we are just a six rooms away.” “What school do you go to?” “ I don’t.” I said as I pointed to the star on my jacket. “What do you mean you don’t go to school?” She asked me. “I’m a Jew, so we can’t go.” I said as I kicked a rock. “Can they really do that? Just kick you out out school? ”She said angerly. “Yes, I guess they can. We have no choice.” She stared at me for a while as we walked up the stairs. “I’m sorry I asked you. I didn't want to offend you” She said quietly. “No, it’s all right, you didn’t know.” We walked up the rest of the steps in silence. When we got to my door she waved good-bye and told me that she will talk to me later. I opened the door, sat on my chair and read my book.
When my parents woke up, they said they had to go somewhere important, but should be back in an hour or two. Elisabeth got up and begged me to play dolls with her while Jason and Bradley did what most boys thier age did, play robber and cop. A few hours later my parents came home. “ Sophia, the nice American family a few doors down from us has envied us to their house. They said their daughter met you at Jake’s store this morning. I think we should go.” Mother
said. “Can I wear a pretty dress mommy?” Elisabeth asked. Mother looked down at her and smiled. “Yes, in fact I think we all should dress up tonight. That got my brothers’ attention. They started screaming and yelling. But my father dressed them up and no matter how much they fought. I put on my best dress and put my thick black hair up. Then I looked in the mirror and tryed to guess how long it would take before they kick us out of thier apartment room and move away after they find out we where Jewish. Many of the other families have done. "I hope Emily didn't tell her parents" I prayed silently to myself. I put took of my Jewish Star necklace and carefully put it away in my jewlery box.
“So what room number do you live in?” She asked me. “Number 44.” I said as I looked at the ground “Really, my room number is 50, we are just a six rooms away.” “What school do you go to?” “ I don’t.” I said as I pointed to the star on my jacket. “What do you mean you don’t go to school?” She asked me. “I’m a Jew, so we can’t go.” I said as I kicked a rock. “Can they really do that? Just kick you out out school? ”She said angerly. “Yes, I guess they can. We have no choice.” She stared at me for a while as we walked up the stairs. “I’m sorry I asked you. I didn't want to offend you” She said quietly. “No, it’s all right, you didn’t know.” We walked up the rest of the steps in silence. When we got to my door she waved good-bye and told me that she will talk to me later. I opened the door, sat on my chair and read my book.
When my parents woke up, they said they had to go somewhere important, but should be back in an hour or two. Elisabeth got up and begged me to play dolls with her while Jason and Bradley did what most boys thier age did, play robber and cop. A few hours later my parents came home. “ Sophia, the nice American family a few doors down from us has envied us to their house. They said their daughter met you at Jake’s store this morning. I think we should go.” Mother
said. “Can I wear a pretty dress mommy?” Elisabeth asked. Mother looked down at her and smiled. “Yes, in fact I think we all should dress up tonight. That got my brothers’ attention. They started screaming and yelling. But my father dressed them up and no matter how much they fought. I put on my best dress and put my thick black hair up. Then I looked in the mirror and tryed to guess how long it would take before they kick us out of thier apartment room and move away after they find out we where Jewish. Many of the other families have done. "I hope Emily didn't tell her parents" I prayed silently to myself. I put took of my Jewish Star necklace and carefully put it away in my jewlery box.
my only suggestion is to start a new line for a new dialouge. like... when you said:
keep up the good word.... didn't you say that you were thinking about getting this published? or was it this? if not... I think you should think about it... whats the worst that could happen? you get denied? then you wouldn't be any worse off then you are right now... 
