|
Post by Absinthe on Aug 29, 2006 19:32:31 GMT -6
echoing silence. . . the Earth quivers and shakes around us, but we don't make a sound. not a word escapes from lips sewn with fear.
eyes wide shut we see everything, but comprehend nothing. the shadows of mystery lend healing mists to sensitized skin
change comes slowly walking barefoot upon miles of glass, crimson flowing from every incision with the precision of an artist, painting the world bloody. and so it begins. . . . .
I started this while waiting sitting in the student union before class. I wasn't sure how to end it. It kind of feels like, if I were to drag it on, it would be too much, but it is also rather abrupt like this. Does anyone have any suggestions? any helpful hints maybe?
|
|
|
Post by Only Me on Aug 29, 2006 21:57:53 GMT -6
I love the way it ends... it leaves the mind to wander and make up its own conclusion which to me seems like its what the poem is about...
|
|
|
Post by thecrazybeautiful on Aug 30, 2006 15:18:05 GMT -6
I really like it the way it is. The ending is good, I love those last three llines. I kinda like the way it builds up to the ending, and it like forms together.
There were two lines that I didn't like too much though, and those were the last line in stanza one, and the third line in stanza three. Something about them just doesn't sit well with me...
|
|
|
Post by Isabela on Oct 15, 2006 16:46:03 GMT -6
I like it the way it is
|
|