Almost Mother

[Laura]

there is not a reason to shed your tears
still they crash in a delicately violent pattern at my feet
told the news, no repetition

"I am pregnant"
I pause
"I was -
. . . . . . .pregnant"

for fear of abandonment I kept it inside
thought my own body would reject me if I let it go
an innocence, it cannot be

I knew it couldn't even learn to breathe alone
not until I let it go.

it's difficult to push your feelings aside
to concentrate on what really matters
my frail stomach cannot -
. . . . . . .could not
hold this.

inside your mouth is moving wanting to shout
answers I know you could never understand
unless I swallowed you

then you could learn what it feels like
to be full
and empty with thought

it is not a what if or a what could have been
it only felt natural to me
a sin, unheard of in my mind

all those daughters were given life
all those sons were granted
wouldn't be for mine.

keep your hands shelled against your chest in disbelief
astonished eyes, jaw rusting at the wheels
it was a flower that could never be bloomed

just inside a woman's stomach that could never be a womb

[stupidxgirl]

Wow, this was a little difficult for me to read because the topic touches too close to home for me sadly. But, I loved it either way...It seems a couple of your other recent poems have a refference or two to losing a baby, or maybe I'm not remembering correctly cause I'm a little out of it LoL. But my favorite part had to be this :

"inside your mouth is moving wanting to shout
answers I know you could never understand
unless I swallowed you"

Good job Laura

[thecrazybeautiful]

"then you could learn what it feels like
to be full
and empty with thought"

I don't really know what to say about this part. I can't say anything... I just like it.

"it was a flower that could never be bloomed

just inside a woman's stomach that could never be a womb"

That's so sad. It's a sad topic.