Their Own Way

[jtalago]

Just wrote this real quick. Any reactions?

---------------------------
Today I saw pain
In a new way
Tasted life
For the first time

Today wind blew
Sun shone
Falling
Into the moon

Through the day I stepped
Parting time
Making way for me

The world moved
For the first time
On its own

I fell asleep
Waiting to wake
To breathe the crisp air
Of my new life

Now I know what there is to
Why they opened their eyes
To see life
In a new way
In their own way

[Laura]

You started really well. The second stanza being my favourite but then it kind of fell from there. This:

"Now I know what there is to"

--I don't get. I also think repeating "way" at the end kind of watered the effect. It's not bad but it could have been better.

[thecrazybeautiful]

"Through the day I stepped
Parting time
Making way for me

The world moved
For the first time
On its own"

I like that part.

[Sharon]

Today I saw pain
In a new way
Tasted life
For the first time

Very nice intro there.

Today wind blew
Sun shone
Falling
Into the moon

Perhaps this could be interpreted as symbolism... or perhaps you're expressing how you watched time pass.

[Only Me]

"The world moved
For the first time
On its own"

I love these lines.

[QueenPaige4]

you know I don't like the ending....i liked the rest though