BlueMoon
A Dedicated Distraction
Posts: 87
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Post by BlueMoon on Jun 15, 2005 20:27:42 GMT -6
Can you hear the laughter amongst the trees? Or the dance of the flowers and the bees? The giggling of young children playing in the sandbox The sailing boat coasting into the quiet docks The chirping of the birds singing a happy tune The sound of a proud butterfly breaking its cacoon The toddler taking its first steps in wonder The loud crack of lightning whispering to the thunder Rolling waves, allowing people to have fun The mulitcolored sun setting on the horizon
Did that put any imagery in your mind? Just curious, I'm trying to make this poem make you see these pictures in your mind as if your there. Is it just me? Thanks for reading.
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Post by Only Me on Jun 15, 2005 21:57:22 GMT -6
I really liked it... yes it did put imagery into my mind...
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Post by allmeheart on Jun 17, 2005 9:13:51 GMT -6
imagery was there, good job, if u add even more detail it becomes a photograph
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Post by QueenPaige4 on Jul 2, 2005 7:10:55 GMT -6
yes there is imagery. I can see everything. Very good. I liked it
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Post by Sharon on Jul 13, 2005 14:42:34 GMT -6
[glow=purple,2,300]i loved those lines ;D you wanted to capture imagery, and you did. good job[/glow]
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tommy
Wishes To Be A Distraction
Posts: 10
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Post by tommy on Jul 19, 2005 17:23:16 GMT -6
yeah, its really good. very effective use of imagery. good job
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Post by Absinthe on Jul 19, 2005 17:45:24 GMT -6
Yes, I definitely think you captured the images in this piece. Excellent job.
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Post by Samccaleb on Oct 7, 2005 21:00:05 GMT -6
I liked it . The imagery was really good. keep writing.
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Post by Laura on Nov 28, 2005 19:51:19 GMT -6
This gave me a warm, tingly feeling inside. Gorgeous phrases and a lovely way of looking at things. My favourite line:
"The sailing boat coasting into the quiet docks"
--I can really see this.
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