Quasi the Queer & the Bitches of Paris

[Laura]

a/n: this doesn't seem finished or it seems it needs work. One of the other ... looking for some insight

Quasi the Queer & the Bitches of Paris

Quasimodo is my friend
cycloning through a rush
and you can all laugh
and you can call him names

who does he come home to cry to?

you're misachieving goalless fucks
amplified by a million little bits that I could just set on fire
watch you burn

hunched over but dancing around your ashes
that Quasi will be.

. . . . wait, I'll be someone too
. . . . give me a letter of appreciation of some kind
. . . . from this so-called more evolutionized race
. . . . you are
. . . . you are
. . . . you are

you are a train wreck cover up.

Quasimodo feels he needs to
sneak by you
hide in the shadows
so you won't feed upon him

I'm sick of you.

oh I could just help you be an accident
failed attempt at human life.

who does he come crying to?

privately you must be thinking
who will you cry to when you're down and broken
when you're broken and ugly
when you're ugly and rotting
when you're rotted and worn out

when you're six feet under buried alive
who will come crying for you?

[thecrazybeautiful]

". . . . you are

you are a train wreck cover up."

That's my favorite part. I don't really know why.

I really like the whole fantasy-ness of this. Yeah I know it's in the fantasy section, hehe. But I didn't expect it to really be that great. I mean, not that I doubt your writing, it just kinda caught me off guard.

It does seem a little unfinished, like you said, but it's not really in the way where you'd have to add more. I don't really know how to suggest anything though.

[Only Me]

"privately you must be thinking
who will you cry to when you're down and broken
when you're broken and ugly
when you're ugly and rotting
when you're rotted and worn out

when you're six feet under buried alive
who will come crying for you? "

Well put. I LOVE these last lines here. I really like how you put the same words out on the next lines it really puts emphasis on the point you are trying to get across, I love this piece.