Lady Penguin
Wishes To Be A Distraction
I'm a poet and I know it!
Posts: 21
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Faker
Mar 21, 2007 18:07:29 GMT -6
Post by Lady Penguin on Mar 21, 2007 18:07:29 GMT -6
A shattered mirror, a wilted rose, Things of forgotten memories. A picture with a broken smile, A girl with eyes that reeked of lies.
Feign a smile, force a laugh, Don't let them see you cry. Hide yourself, behind your mask, Don't shed tear don't show your fear.
If they see you upset, it will hurt them. You shouldn't make them worry. Crying is for foolish people, Weak ones pathetic ones.
Putting up an act everday, Does it make you tired? Don't quit now, you'll let them see, Who you are though your scars
Faker
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Faker
Mar 21, 2007 18:37:21 GMT -6
Post by Absinthe on Mar 21, 2007 18:37:21 GMT -6
The first two stanzas are good, but then it kind of drizzles off after that. I liked this:
"Feign a smile, force a laugh, Don't let them see you cry. Hide yourself, behind your mask,"
.......it flowed really well. This was better and i could actually detect a bit of something lurking below the surface. What's that? Is it? It is.....Emotion! Nice job.
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Lady Penguin
Wishes To Be A Distraction
I'm a poet and I know it!
Posts: 21
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Faker
Mar 21, 2007 18:54:43 GMT -6
Post by Lady Penguin on Mar 21, 2007 18:54:43 GMT -6
Thank you ^-^ I took some of the advice you and a few others have given me.
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