crimson rain

[tearsofhatred0715]

i want to cut
i wanna slice
i want to feel the crimson rain

all of this pain
that i do feel
all the hatred
in my veins

i thoughti could trust
but i came up bust
i thought i had a friend
but i was all wrong

i want to cut
i wanna slice
and feel the crimson
drops of rain

*wrote this a few days ago i was in a really bad mood the day i wrote it

[Laura]

"i thought i could trust
but i came up bust"

--too forced of a rhyme, takes away from the poem. I can't say I relate to this but I can relate to wanting to feel rain ... well, real rain. Not my personal favourite but I'm not into the whole cutting thing.

[stupidxgirl]

This isn't bad really, sounds a little forced and honestly I've heard it all before. I'm not saying your pain isn't real, but the emotion in this certainly lacks for such a deep topic. But, over all it isn't terrible. *personal opinion*

Bren