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Post by Samccaleb on May 25, 2006 2:45:31 GMT -6
Dark Paradise
Such evil things linger here, Within this dark paradise, Hate and envy, Greed and deception, Murder and sadism. By day all things seem perfect, No stray threads to unravel, A paradise of peace, Eden, But by night, Ghosts and minions prowl, Looking for intrigue and torture. Sanity is not an option, Not a requirement, In this haunted place, Everyone shoots to kill, But never asks the questions, Or bothers with the names, It’s a tainted place of evil beauty, A dark paradise, cold and calculating.
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Post by thecrazybeautiful on May 29, 2006 18:07:46 GMT -6
"Hate and envy, Greed and deception, Murder and sadism"
I don't like how those lines fit, but I really don't know why.
"No stray threads to unravel,"
Great line.
"It’s a tainted place of evil beauty, A dark paradise, cold and calculating."
Good lines there to.
"
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Post by Samccaleb on May 30, 2006 1:43:14 GMT -6
I'm happy there were some things that stuck out. I wrote this after reading a book specifically titled 'Dark Paradise' It was a good book.
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Post by Laura on Jun 9, 2006 11:34:59 GMT -6
"No stray threads to unravel, A paradise of peace, Eden, But by night, Ghosts and minions prowl, Looking for intrigue and torture"
--superb choice of words and sentencing here.
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