|
Post by kissmedeadly on Nov 24, 2005 18:09:14 GMT -6
Evil doesn't exist today, nor will it tomorrow. The stainless blood has never tasted so good. As it finds a way out of my mouth and onto your lips. You're not here anymore. I cannot see you. You and all the things you've ever said or done do not exist. Stab me. Cut me. Bruise my mind. I'm immune to your violence. And the acidic stinging inside me washed away with the swollen lips and tired eyes. I am allowing my mouth to open and my lips to tell you the words I never though I'd be able to believe.. I can see without your fog drowing out the light. I can smile without your hand over my mouth. I can breathe without your polluted words and gutless stares. And I can feel without fear. Break me again.. You can't. You'll only build on this new found strength that bubbled its way to up to my surface. And the pain that once held me back will now push me forward. You're dead to me.
|
|
|
Post by Laura on Nov 24, 2005 18:36:34 GMT -6
"Break me again.. You can't. You'll only build on this new found strength that bubbled its way to up to my surface."
--I like the confidence in these lines. I felt this poem ... this:
"As it finds a way out of my mouth and onto your lips. You're not here anymore."
--was my favourite part.
|
|
|
Post by Only Me on Nov 28, 2005 15:22:53 GMT -6
I love these lines: "You're not here anymore. I cannot see you. You and all the things you've ever said or done do not exist. " and: "I'm immune to your violence. And the acidic stinging inside me washed away with the swollen lips and tired eyes." OK and I know this is off topic... my mother after 21 years and only one time telling me she loved me but a million and one times letting me down called me the other day and told me she loved me and this is pretty much what I wanted to say to her and how I felt... "Break me again.. You can't. You'll only build on this new found strength that bubbled its way to up to my surface. And the pain that once held me back will now push me forward. You're dead to me." Now onto the criticism--- I think you meant "thought" "never though I'd " and could you have possibly meant "drowning"? "fog drowing out" ok... that about sums it up great work!
|
|