If It Would Kill You, I'd Smile

[Laura]

a/n: this was written because at work, people are always telling me to smile. I am getting sick of it. This is not my best but I can never write well when I'm frustrated.

If It Would Kill You, I'd Smile

you say:
"you look sad"
I said:
"that's just the way I look"
and you put on a smile -
I know you didn't mean it
it's as plain as my left hand
and it's never been kissed
or ringed.

you say:
"you look sick"
I said:
"my mind might be"
then I muffled a "f**k*r"
does the way I act around you
frustrate you?

I wonder if my footsteps travel your back
and break the pieces of spine that are loosely screwed
I wonder if my weight could break it all together

it's hard to understand
why you don't understand
I do not want to be bouncy
full of life and glowing
I don't want happy
to spell itself out on my forehead
shading what really goes on behind my eyes

I just want to rip my hair out,
what's left
and if I wanted your opinion,
I would blush
but I don't express any emotions
I wonder if you should get the signals
my mind is pushing through your body

all this and all I want to tell you is:
"don't tell me to smile"
I don't want to for you.

[kissmedeadly]

I really liked this. I'm sorry you're frustrated. It happens to the best of us. <3

[Only Me]

WOW! omg! my life spelt out... ok so now not so much... but when i was involved in this thing that i was invovled (I won't get into the nitty gritty details) I was never happy and no one understood... so I led my life one day at a time wishing and hoping that one day people would stop telling me to smile when my heart was telling me that I was not happy enough to smile... anyways... "I do not want to be bouncy
full of life and glowing
I don't want happy
to spell itself out on my forehead
shading what really goes on behind my eyes" I LOVE IT!

[xxdarkxangelxx]

I really liked the ending. Its exactly how I feel most of the time but in words.