You could call this one dark...or depressing

[Samccaleb]

Trapped Fear


The steady thud of a heart,
Echo's in my head.
Breathing itself is painful,
As I gasp for breath.
My heart beats steady as a drum.
Little noises make my body jump,
And my mind sees shadows and monsters,
Where there are none.
Even still my hearts beats in a steady rhythm.
My fear is palpable to me,
And adrenaline washes through me in waves,
But my heart never strays from its ever steady pattern,
And no one sees my agitation,
Even when they look into my catatonic eyes,
Staring blankly at the hospital ceiling,
Seeing all and yet nothing.

[Only Me]

dark... and depressing... or maybe just dark... i like the "Even when they look into my catatonic eyes,
Staring blankly at the hospital ceiling,
Seeing all and yet nothing." I love it... those lines really get to me... nice work S.

[Samccaleb]

thank you

[Sharon]

Even when they look into my catatonic eyes,
Staring blankly at the hospital ceiling,
Seeing all and yet nothing.

[glow=purple,2,300]i really like these lines, great job.[/glow]

[Samccaleb]

When i first wrote it, i didnt think that anyone would truly get the gist of it. I mean it seems fairly obvious now that its a person in a coma but if you think about it....how do we know that people in catatonic states or comas arent going through this same thing.....its kinda disturbing now that i think about it again

[Only Me]

lol... you are just disturbing... kidding... yea i got it... sort of... it was an amazing poem...

[Samccaleb]

Its not that I'm disturbing, I just have disturbing thoughts when I write poems....or is it that I have disturbing thoughts that inspire poems......something like that, anyway...yeah.

[Laura]

"And my mind sees shadows and monsters,
Where there are none."

--I really liked this.