Why then?

The Sightless Dreamer
Contently A Distraction

Wow....

Posts: 33

Why then? Sept 7, 2005 17:37:15 GMT -6

Quote

Post by The Sightless Dreamer on Sept 7, 2005 17:37:15 GMT -6

I feel like I have never felt before
Someone that loves me the same.
It makes me feel so happy
Then why am I so sad?

He makes me smile
The why do i feel the tears?
He is everything Ive always wanted
Then why do i still have desire?

If he is everything
They why do I feel like nothing?
What have i done to cause
My self this pain....

Last Edit: Oct 3, 2005 17:08:26 GMT -6 by The Sightless Dreamer

::I am but a grain of sand on the beach, and but a ripple in the sand, forever trampled by the feet of the people who walk all over me::

XxBethiexX
+
XxBrixX

Only Me
An Official Serene Distraction

Who I become depends on how you treat who I am...

Posts: 1,722

Why then? Sept 7, 2005 20:59:57 GMT -6

Quote

Post by Only Me on Sept 7, 2005 20:59:57 GMT -6

ok... just a few typos.. but other than that i like it... I am going to say this... even though I know I make the mistake a lot... apostrphes are needed... in a few places in the last two poems i read of yours.

keep up the good work... I know I am being particular tonight... but "it builds character"

(as my gramma says quite frequently)

The world is a cruel place, but turning against it only gives it the strength to hurt you more.

Sharon Administrator Posts: 4,932	Why then? Sept 23, 2005 15:45:34 GMT -6 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Sharon on Sept 23, 2005 15:45:34 GMT -6 [glow=purple,2,300]i definitely advise you to fix the typos, yes, the reader knows what you mean but it ruins the message you are trying to present for they can easily be distracted[/glow]

Post by The Sightless Dreamer on Sept 7, 2005 17:37:15 GMT -6

Post by Only Me on Sept 7, 2005 20:59:57 GMT -6

Post by Sharon on Sept 23, 2005 15:45:34 GMT -6