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Post by sweetzrose88 on Sept 3, 2005 6:23:16 GMT -6
To the sinner of sinners From your beloved dark angel Rip, bleed, burn Watch me tear out your heart For the things you did against me You'll never have me or my love You lost everything you had Now all you do is look at me With your shocked face Which I tore off and put on my wall for display Your bones were given to the dogs While I threw your flesh in the fire to smell As I watch your heart beat in a jar Rip,bleed,burn These are the words of a crazy person Who just took your life without you knowing it Rip,bleed,burn May your soul burn for eternity While your dark angel Shows you the sins You wish you never commited [/center]
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Post by Only Me on Sept 3, 2005 10:09:38 GMT -6
I like the repition of "Rip, bleed, burn" it really gives it light... my favorite part is the ending "May your soul burn for eternity Wnile your dark angel Shows you the sins You wish you never commited" Isn't this how life works? you do something wrong and you have the forces of the universe to keep showing your transgressions to you for the rest of eternity? making you wish you had never done them just for the sheer fact that you don't want your nose to be rubbed in it anymore... ? i really like your "Angel" poetry... it really brings things into perspective... the only thing that kind of throws off the rhythm that I found was "While I threw your flesh in the fire to smell" the "to smell" is kind of akward... but maybe its just me and the way i read it... i dont know...
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Post by sweetzrose88 on Sept 6, 2005 17:10:27 GMT -6
Yes thats' true that the higher beings have us suffer our pain and regrets after we die if we go to hell or wherever.....but the "to smell " part is something a crazy person would do.... u never know what they are thinking...Like it could be a symbol of victory in that persons mind or maybe some kind of acknowledgement that they have during the situation. But thank you for your comments on my poetry i really appreciate it.S
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Post by QueenPaige4 on Sept 7, 2005 7:29:29 GMT -6
I loved it. The repition of "Rip,Bleed,Burn" felt necessary. I understand the ending. Yes that is how life works, I do believe. Anyway very nicely written. Keep up the good work.
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Post by Only Me on Sept 7, 2005 21:04:00 GMT -6
ok that makes a little more sense to me now thanks for clarifying what you meant by "to smell"
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Post by sweetzrose88 on Sept 9, 2005 16:00:00 GMT -6
Thanks for your comments i really appreciate it.
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