"Sudden" poem

[karl]

This was written right after I had listened to the song "Soundtrack to Mary" by Soul Coughing. A classmate's father had died that day. It was written in Seattle's Best Coffee.


Sudden
“Fall, fall, fall, fall, fall”
Fall into a surprise like
Your father dying
Or fall into walking into the tree that is
Feeling,
Sympathy.
There are things in the words “heart attack” like
Lightning. Lightning, but more tragic.
The thought is a chattering voice in my head
It will not go away, not cease, not be comprehended
By the soul
My Soul
It is not expressible although I try
To express through poetry, this poetry
Is like a mumbly blues
You can’t understand the words, can’t comprehend
But there is pain in the heart
Black man or private school girl
Wearing overalls
People say “overalls are no good,
You just don’t wear them”
Her father is dead
It all changes
No looking at overalls now
Just
looking at her sad face
Sad, but incredibly cool about the whole concept
It hasn’t soaked in
But I have soaked it
Up

[Sharon]

[glow=purple,2,300]i believe that sympathy is one of the hardest emotions to express. some times it feels as though feeling sympathetic doesn't help. this poem is a great example of that.

well karl, i'm glad to see you treat us with your writing, please take the time to read and review others' work as well and don't forget to start your own thread in the "Introduce Yourself" section [/glow]

[allmeheart]

i had to read it twice to get one of the lines, but other than that good work

[Absinthe]

[glow=black,2,300]"Fall into a surprise like
Your father dying
Or fall into walking into the tree that is
Feeling,
Sympathy.
There are things in the words “heart attack” like
Lightning. Lightning, but more tragic. "

That part stuck out to me most. It really just sucked me in. The whole poem was great though. Excellent job. [/glow]

[Only Me]

"Her father is dead
It all changes
No looking at overalls now
Just
looking at her sad face
Sad, but incredibly cool about the whole concept" yup... I love this.. thank you for sharing