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Ember
Dec 1, 2021 19:55:15 GMT -6
Post by Sharon on Dec 1, 2021 19:55:15 GMT -6
Ember
Coal, ash and ember Illuminates this memory of us. It was just a blip on the map How I, lost you - I can’t remember. As I reminisce, I am reminded of My internal turmoil, I was lost. You radiated the confidence I craved. You had it together. My dwelling was literally falling down, I, was the reason. Parallel disconnected by doubt.
Note: This piece was actually a bit longer, however, after omitting the rambling bits, this is the last edited version.
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Post by Absinthe on Dec 3, 2021 19:36:02 GMT -6
EmberCoal, ash and ember Illuminates this memory of us. It was just blip on the map I like these lines a lot. My only suggestion here would be to add "a" before "blip" as right now it reads a bit abruptly. Otherwise, nice job. I love seeing new work from you.
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Ember
Dec 4, 2021 17:50:44 GMT -6
Post by Sharon on Dec 4, 2021 17:50:44 GMT -6
EmberCoal, ash and ember Illuminates this memory of us. It was just blip on the map I like these lines a lot. My only suggestion here would be to add "a" before "blip" as right now it reads a bit abruptly. Otherwise, nice job. I love seeing new work from you. Thank you, great catch! I definitely meant to put "a" there. Thanks so much for the encouraging words.
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