Untitled (Like A Pattern)

[thecrazybeautiful]

I'm not sure what to call this. I'm not even sure what it's about. Maybe it's me, defying anything I feel like defying right now... Who knows? I just figured I'd post something since the poetry's back up.

Untitled (Like A Pattern)

my crystal ankles
make the popular girls jealous
they just want something
to make them shine

something fragile that will break
when they make a wrong move

and I've got
stained glass window eyes
that made them forget
their kaleidoscope dreams

and I'd give the faith away to them
but it took so long to build up

what kind of almighty
would put it this way
hand them the name
scoop me the look

I'd just like to fall down
they just want to walk in my shoes.

[Absinthe]

"and I've got
stained glass window eyes
that made them forget
their kaleidoscope dreams"



.........I particularly liked these lines. They drew me into them and then swirled me around in their depths. When I read that I got this vivid mental picture of a little girl with literal stained glass in place of eyes. It was like she could see into my soul and dig around there until she found what she was looking for. Strange, I know, but I am in a weird mood lately.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say through my rambling is that I enjoyed this. Great job.

[Laura]

"my crystal ankles
make the popular girls jealous"

--what an excellent beginning. It draws the reader in. The last line was also fabulous. And although I like the second last line, I don't know if it fits well right before the last line ... does that make sense? I'm in a rambling mood. Good job though

[thecrazybeautiful]

I don't think it makes sense either... I don't even remember what was on my mind when I wrote this...