livid rhythm of my being

[grifter]

the symphonic
syncopation
of my
worthless words’
arrangement
has aortic
permutations
it’s a
syllabic soliloquy
a solitary
melody
a hallow haunting
harmony
a vibrant variation
of a
steady strings vibration
hear the
measure of the verse
keeping time
in line
with the pulsing
and the pacing
in the spacing
of the rhyme
a loquacious
transformation
of a
musical mutation
to an eloquent
expression
of the
beating and
the banging
from the
screaming in
the seething
livid rhythm
of my being


i tried really hard, not to write in rhyme tonight, and this rhythm kept fighting with me , getting louder as i tried to ignore it, this is our expression, of that struggle, i think i lost

[Laura]

You make me so mad but so happy at the same time. I'm just jealous of your writing ability because these should be in books being studied by people.

"has aortic
permutations
it’s a
syllabic soliloquy
a solitary
melody
a hallow haunting
harmony "

--absolute and utter brilliance. Probably the best bunch of lines I've read in years. Also, I love the word choices ... even though some I had to look up, that's always a good sign

[grifter]

my intuitive inscription
has an ambivalent ambiance
for me as well
here this scraping scribe
was surmounted
by a sound
his heart had found
i’m a salivating slave
to asinine assonance

[thecrazybeautiful]

"a hallow haunting
harmony
a vibrant variation
of a
steady strings vibration"

That was my favorite part.

This one is so lively. And I think the rhyming is good in this.

[Sharon]

if rhyming is naturally the way you write i don't think you should FIGHT it. of course, trying different styles doesn't hurt in fact it will make you grow as a writer. sometimes you have to put yourself in a different and not necessarily comfortable position in order to see what writing style works. this poem has definitely tested my vocabulary

[Only Me]

"the symphonic
syncopation
of my
worthless words’ " These first lines are awesome!