Ickle Ponderthings

[Absinthe]

Disembodied voices
whisper conjugated phrases
from the disjointed places
of my mind
Where blind imagination
meets frank limitation
and all the mirror
images entwine
And the cockroach sings a sonnet
and the meercat wears a bonnet
as I wander around the dreams
of space and time
So kick your crazy habit
you're such a silly rabbit
these tricks aren't meant for
dealings such as mine
Now freed from litigation
and damned interrogation
I just can't seem to stop
upon a dime
cause disembodied voices
whisper oh so dangerous phrases
from the disintegrated places in my mind




not my best......but eh....still suffereing a tinge of writer's block.

[Laura]

"Where blind imagination
meets frank limitation
and all the mirror
images entwine"

--I loved this part, the way the rhyme worked was excellent. The only part I didn't like was the "cuz" added towards the end ... if you insist on using a short form of because, I would use "cause" ... it looks and makes me sound it out better. At least me, but it's your poem

[Absinthe]

Yeah...I agree...."cause" would sound better. Thanks.

[Laura]

I also like the swift rhyme ... it's this kind of rhyme I like, the ones where it's like L1-L3 and L2-L4 (I can't remember what it's called and I'm not wasting 10 minutes thinking of it) is boring to me

[Absinthe]

Thanks....yeah, I'm with you on the ABAB rhyme scheme being absolutely boring. It's almost too monotonous and repetitive. I always try to steer away from that.

I'm glad you like this.

[Laura]

Yes, it's kind of spastic in a way ... kind of like my writing, haha.

[grifter]

i really like the timing, of you're introspective rhyming, the cadence is contagious, i think your block is dying

[thecrazybeautiful]

"and all the mirror
images entwine"

I like that word, entwine. I like that part.

And I like the rhyming too.

[Only Me]

I love how it is so scattered and all over the place, the reader has no idea where you are going to take it next but in the end it all makes perfect sense.