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Post by Laura on Apr 12, 2006 15:25:31 GMT -6
a/n: under construction maybe? Thoughts appreciated ... I'm unsure about this.
Unrealistic
and the branches breathe and expand [ we're lifeless ] scattering in broken circles we stand shouting out our lungs [ blow up the inside ] and look, harass the silvery eyelids our growth disbanded meet a maker who is marching [ drumming a beat of its own ] we're tomorrow today and we're living lifelessly unrealisticly okay.
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grifter
A Devoted Distraction
Posts: 135
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Post by grifter on Apr 12, 2006 17:07:33 GMT -6
i really like the last two lines, have you ever read anything by Bukowski, if your haven't look up some of his stuff, his first name is charles,
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Post by QueenPaige4 on Apr 12, 2006 17:23:45 GMT -6
That sounded so complete so final so right to the point. You know it seems to me that I've always wanted to write something about how unrealistic things are and how i feel about this fucked up world...oh sorry about my language but you get my point. Anyway i really liked this poem it was very well written.
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Post by thecrazybeautiful on Apr 14, 2006 7:29:42 GMT -6
"we're tomorrow today and we're living lifelessly unrealisticly okay. " I liked that. It's short, but nice
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