Since sin; is a skinny girl

[grifter]

Since sin; is a skinny girl
need fully
              ,yawning
her round ripe
                   (Toffee 
              fresH)
skin is silently slipping
      :Southward:
in my red delicious,
                    Kisses

[Laura]

Hmm ... short but interesting. I like "different" poems and this was definitely different ... in a good way.

"Toffee
fresh"

--I loved this.

"skin is silently slipping
southward"

--and I love the sound to this. You know you're too smart for me though.

[grifter]

there are so many different kinds of smart

the new format, is based on E E Cummings style, he said he was a "painter who writes", he is one of my favorite poets, this one is about, the eating of the apple in eden, see the apple references, red delicious, and round ripe, i wanted it to have a sexual charge too, maybe the tree of wisdom grows candy apples? (Toffee fresH), i adopted cummings style of using spacing and punctuation, but some of my sound stuff is still sliding in the non negative space, it says i have a hard time resisting sin as well

[Laura]

I see ... very interesting.

[thecrazybeautiful]

I want to be able to write in this format! You do so great with this.

You have a nice choice of words, even with something this short, and it's really good.

[Only Me]

short, but gets the point across.