Her Southern Vision

[ylime]

The blue grass in Kentucky
Looks green to an ignorant eye
But those with southern vision
Can see that each blade
Longs for an old straightforward life

Filled with iced tea on the porch
Flavored with summer
Squeezed fresh from a lemon’s wedge
And lovely ice cream socials
In the lazy August evenings
Of the Presbyterian church’s
Idyllic lawn of green

The placid southern summer
Becomes more hurried each year
The delusion of perfection
Disappears as both the world
And reality creep below
The Mason-Dixon line

The closed black leather Bible
Still sits on each Southern night stand
Gathering its holy gray dust
Reminding her of those simpler times
She so fondly treasures
Although they were just a dream

But Jesus safely keeps watch
Over her beloved bygone South
In his tarnished silver frame
On the brown paisley wallpaper
Under the immaculate felt triangle
Reading the name of her favorite college team

This is still a work in progress...

[Laura]

The ending (two last stanzas) didn't really fit with the rest I thought. I thought the whole idea of writing about grass was brilliant and inspiring ... I could actually feel the wind blowing it and the sun bleaching it. You have a nice vocabulary and a lot of your lines go well together. The last two stanzas weren't badly written in any way, but I felt like I was beginning to read a new poem.

[Sharon]

The blue grass in Kentucky
Looks green to an ignorant eye
But those with southern vision
Can see that each blade
Longs for an old straightforward life

I am glad to see someone who knows how to use the word "ignorant" many people nowadays look at the word as a synonym for "stupid" or "arrogant".

Filled with iced tea on the porch
Flavored with summer
Squeezed fresh from a lemon’s wedge
And lovely ice cream socials
In the lazy August evenings
Of the Presbyterian church’s
Idyllic lawn of green

I'm loving the visionary you're leaving us in this stanza.


....I see you've mentioned that this is still a work in progress, I'd like to see where you'll take this poem. Thank you for sharing.