Unlikely.

[Laura]

a/n: this isn't very good, I realized ... oh well.

Unlikely.

I can see her peach skin drawing circles in the sand
toes dancing on end to no music but the one that plays inside her head
and I wish I could touch her hand and tell her how beautiful she is
just a baby at thirteen, I think
still rips at the seams
and still dreams

not like me.

I can see how she graces the world just with her presence
how I wish she would grace me for once
and how she smiles, it just lights up the room
it's beautiful, like her heart it's so filled with everything
just the things I wish I had
the hopefulness
the kindness...

I can see her violet stockings slowly making their way down
as she jumps and twirls and cartwheels they slowly slide
the closer they are to the dirt, the messier it gets
just like my tears, one tiny muddy grain of sand
makes a path
and I wish I were beautiful like her
but she's just a baby at thirteen
with her hopes and dreams
still capable of being ripped at the seams

so unlike me

[thecrazybeautiful]

Well, it's different from what you usually write. Kinda... In a way I can't really explain. But it's good. It's nice and interesting.

"still rips at the seams
and still dreams"

I really like that part. Maybe it's the rhyme... I dunno, but I like it.

[stupidxgirl]

I have to say, it's not my favorite by you. It seemed to lack that raw emotion I like so much. It was still there, just not so much. Nothing really put it apart from other things I've read, and I'm not used to that from you. But, on a positive note, it was still enjoyable to read and I did find a few lines I liked very much.

"I can see her peach skin drawing circles in the sand"

I really love the image here, I can see a younge girl doing just this.

"like her heart it's so filled with everything
just the things I wish I had
the hopefulness
the kindness..."

That is a touch of the normal emotion from your poetry, it was strong but simple. Very nice

"I can see her violet stockings slowly making their way down
as she jumps and twirls and cartwheels"

The description here is what I liked the most, you didn't simply say her stockings, you added a color, and a very powerful color at that. I think the image of something violet is much stronger then say, something white. I like this, good job.

[psiloveyou]

This isn't one of my favorites by you. You started it alright, you have always had a good way of using visually descriptive words but the ending was a bit off for me.