< || Hazardous Waste || >

[allmeheart]

This is something I was challenged to write in five minutes. Its a rough draft so constructive criticism truly would help me out. I'm not sure what the public reaction will be to this piece.

Hazardous waste
Those broken hearts are
How dare they make you cry?
They're rude
And they're dangerous
I call them a disease
A shame they always spread
Implanting their devilish ways
Ruining those enjoyable times
Selfish they won't care for you
Loves no longer they're concern
out to kill you
You let them conquer
And you're no better
Worse than HIM
The one who created this horror
Conjured up the pain
Holding the antidote
And hiding happiness away
Tucked in your mind ou have the key
To unlock the torture
And will away the lurking self hatred
Its too troublesome
To remember and too hard to forget
Dispose of the hazerdous waste
Take the easy way out
Listen to your mind and ignore your soul
It knows nothing of the predicament your in
Or does it?
That poison
Throw it away before time runs out
Discover the missing puzzle piece
Dust off that key in your mind
Move on and let the scars fade away
Seal it up with a band-aid better yet
Just for good measure
Thats the ticket
How dare they make you cry?
Those broken hearts are nothing but
Hazardous waste

~Jessica~

[Laura]

I like how you reversed the beginning for the end and these lines:

"A shame they always spread
Implanting their devilish ways"

--are good but I thought it was still a tad bit confusing. Watch spelling and grammar ... and this:

"And will away the lurking self hatred"

--is away supposed to be awake or something? It needs a bit of work but it has potential.

[Only Me]

"mind ou have" "predicament your in" should be "mind you have" and "predicament you're in" OR "predicament you are in"
as for the line that Laura mentioned "And will away the lurking self hatred" if you read a couple times you will see what she means by that line. it took me a few times reading it because it is awkward.