Boy's Wisdom

[jtalago]

Any thoughts?
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A man runs avoiding death
A boy runs to live

A man eats to forget
A boy eats to taste

A man avoids the stench
A boy follows the scent

A man dreams of the past
A boy dreams of the future

A man works for money
A boy works for knowledge

A man counts the days left on his calendar
A boy counts his moments under his belt

If only a man had the wisdom of a boy

[Laura]

It has a good concept but some of the lines seemed "iffy" to me, like:

"A boy counts his moments under his belt"

but I really enjoyed:

"A man eats to forget"

--I don't know why. It actually doesn't make much sense to me but I just like it.

"A man dreams of the past
A boy dreams of the future"

--this seems so true. Excellent job here.

"A man avoids the stench
A boy follows the scent"

--interesting

"A man runs avoiding death
A boy runs to live"

--The difference between these two is kind of difficult. It's not clear enough that the man doesn't want to die and the boy isn't afraid of it. I don't know.

Good job overall.

[Only Me]

good job capturing the "boy vs. man" theory... I am sitting on campus waiting for my ride to show up and i am really tired from all my finals... (I had SEVEN in the last few days... ) SO, if you remind me later I will read it again and hopefully get the full affect...