grifter
A Devoted Distraction
Posts: 135
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Post by grifter on Dec 7, 2005 11:32:07 GMT -6
the creatures
and many and many a creature believes in my eccentricities!!! they shy away with watchful speed while fickle fires consume me... amidst the ashes and the flame of this delightful funeral game the eyes of every creature play upon their favorite pain... and eventually each creature learns the reason i was meant to burn!!!
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Post by Laura on Dec 7, 2005 15:05:12 GMT -6
" amidst the ashes and the flame of this delightful funeral game" --I love the idea of a "funeral game" This line: " upon there favorite pain..." --broke the flow for me though. It's a good line but didn't go with the rhythm I had while reading.
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jtalago
Contently A Distraction
Posts: 46
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Post by jtalago on Dec 10, 2005 1:24:04 GMT -6
I liked this. You began and ended it very well. It says a lot in few words...and in a new, refreshing way.
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