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Post by Laura on Nov 11, 2005 13:52:27 GMT -6
p/n: there was a shift in my moods halfway through this poem, after the one liner, my mood changed so the feel of this may as well. We'll see the thoughts though.
Without Me
dancing stitches making their way from my knee to yours and I can feel it coming out and attaching to you must I be a part of this creepy transformation?
how do you read with your eyes wide shut? tip toeing with your neck slightly cut up the side should that blood be dripping for me?
black fires raging through my hormones I can feel my veins jumping for you, emptying platelets seeping into the skin cells on your hair risen arms
I can still see the image of you jamming pieces crispy molded angel food I kept for too long the kitchen counter could make me a good dinner
if I could cook anything but you.
and how much can you love without a heart? don't look so happy, you're not really flying I'm just carrying you above my head for safe keeping
and everything was juggled for such a long time gave you everything including my blood to keep you alive how come you don't sing for me with the voice I gave you?
how can you read with your eyes wide shut? how much can you love without a heart? how do you feel rejuiced, regenerated, reincarnated?
how do you feel . . . . . .without me?
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grifter
A Devoted Distraction
Posts: 135
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Post by grifter on Nov 11, 2005 20:25:08 GMT -6
i really like this one thanx for sharing the images, reading your stuff makes me wanna write more peace love & empathy--
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Post by allmeheart on Nov 26, 2005 0:52:16 GMT -6
i liked it but i think you should have posted the comment at the end it made me notice something that may not have been there, preconceived ideas can ruin anything
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Post by Laura on Nov 29, 2005 21:10:40 GMT -6
Yeah ... maybe, but it's just kind of a warning. I always put the notes at the beginning ... if you think it may ruin the effect, please read the poem first and then go back and read my author's note
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Post by Only Me on Dec 4, 2005 1:17:21 GMT -6
I love the ending and how it ties everything together...
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