Poised Child

[elmarie]

i sing when im sad and scared. perhaps not well. just wishful thinking. i suppose someone would could look upon me as this. -el

POISED CHILD
singing in the night
out of sadness, out of fright
screams press in around her

appearin peaceful, calm
silent, gentle footsteps
slows with her sopranic pitches
piano soft, poised child

[Laura]

I think it would sound better without the two last words. I just thought it took away from the flow I had going when I was reading it.

I really liked it overall though.

[allmeheart]

short and sweet seems to be working, only suggestion is to revise the last line, id say make it have a few more words but then that would mess up the flow of the poem, so im not certain as to what u should do

[Only Me]

"singing in the night
out of sadness, out of fright
screams press in around her" i love it!