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Post by haley13xoxo on Jul 25, 2005 17:22:21 GMT -6
mommys little princess
by haley
today she puts on her tiara
polished to the finest gold,
but behind those eyes are secrets untold
she kisses her mother on the cheek
those secrets shes sure to keep
does mommy know where her little princess is-
all those long cold nights
does mommy know where her little princess is-
getting high and not puttin up a fight
hiding hickies with coverup
hiding hangovers with "the stomach flu"
mommy has no idea....
if mommy only knew
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Post by haley13xoxo on Jul 25, 2005 17:23:29 GMT -6
this isnt the best poem ...it took me like 5 minutes to write it but i just wanted to post it
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Post by Absinthe on Jul 25, 2005 18:45:48 GMT -6
Don't down your own poetry. Sorry, but that is one thing that bothers me, do not insult your own work, critique it if you must, but never have the attitude that "This poem sucks", or your writing will start to suck. Keep a good attitude at all times.
This piece isn't that bad at all. I actually kind of like it.
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Post by fightingirishman on Jul 26, 2005 20:41:35 GMT -6
That's actually pretty good! It's a pretty common feeling amongst adolescents, and kind of leads to the mask idea, how you can be one person with one group (e.g. friends) and totally different with, say, your parents. It's a common feeling I have, actually. But yeah, don't put down your own work. The furthest I'd go is to say that it's not as good in comparison to my other work, but I wouldn't put it down any further than that.
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Post by Sharon on Jul 26, 2005 22:15:32 GMT -6
[glow=purple,2,300]does the time it takes for a poem to be written determines how good it is? usually it is because of editing and revision and all that, it makes it easier for the reader to see the message you are trying to portray.
i believe though, so as long you are expressing yourself, and you feel like you've expressed yourself, that's all that really matters.
[/glow]
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Post by allmeheart on Jul 28, 2005 19:55:32 GMT -6
i liked this, don't see why you didnt see it the same way i did, it was really good
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Post by puchik0 on Jul 30, 2005 13:13:45 GMT -6
even thought it didnt take you long it was still pretty good ^^
never doubt your work, its like doubting yourself.
well back to the poem
wow those last lines
they just... ::speechless:: they gave me a cold lonely feeling.
it was great
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