jola
A Devoted Distraction
Posts: 144
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Post by jola on May 26, 2005 18:43:33 GMT -6
The scars of battle have been hard on his mind, he wonders if he lost track of time, wearing black and white clothes now full of shreads, riding a horse and body where scars once bled, his sword once silver is now rusted in years, he wonders to himself if he will finally shed his tears.
He came to a house made of wood and full of life, then he saw her as she saw him with a tearfull sight, she dressed in a red and pink kimono and hair as black as the night, he gets off his horse then stands in front of her with a blessing sight, they hold each other crying through the night, and after all these years they kiss for the first time.
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Post by Sharon on May 28, 2005 10:57:05 GMT -6
[glow=purple,2,300]for some reason this piece reminded me of 'The Last Sumurai' i liked the visual you gave, the contrast of the warrior and the girl. thank you for sharing ;D[/glow]
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Post by karl on May 28, 2005 22:56:22 GMT -6
aww yay I love the imagery in this piece! good job!
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Post by allmeheart on Jun 2, 2005 8:24:58 GMT -6
i love this poem, its really good, i like the story, suggestion: add more details about the girls appearance(sp?) or u could just ignore that lol
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Post by Only Me on Jun 14, 2005 17:48:23 GMT -6
I really like this piece, I think it could be lengthened and made into a short story... its great, I got a visual as I was reading, though I feel like something is missing... great job though...
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jola
A Devoted Distraction
Posts: 144
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Post by jola on Oct 1, 2008 13:49:12 GMT -6
Glad you all liked it and for those who did not see this check it out. LOL
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Post by Isabela on Oct 1, 2008 14:26:41 GMT -6
I like it too, Great imagery you gave us there. I also think it would be a great short story.
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nina
A Devoted Distraction
Posts: 189
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Post by nina on Oct 4, 2008 13:50:14 GMT -6
Wow, I like the flow of the poem. Awesome rythem and awesome visuals! I agree with Only Me and Mimi, i think this would be a cool short story too. A lil love story, aww so kawaii!!
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